I Want to Kill Myself Because of My Marriage
We really don’t talk enough about depression, yet it’s everywhere around us.
I’ve tried to take my own life more than once. And yes, it’s because of my husband.
What I’ve been going through for the past six years… I never saw it coming. He’s so kind and helpful with other people, but with me, he’s cruel and violent. Every single day, he reminds me that I’m ugly, old, and useless. He says he never wanted to marry me, that I bring him bad luck, and that I’m the reason he hasn’t built a house like his brothers.
He refuses to let me work, yet he never misses a chance to call me lazy, useless, a burden. There are days my children and I go without food. And when I complain, his family insults me even more and pushes him to beat me again.
He cheats on me with any woman he can. One day, I caught him in our own bed. He forced me to watch. I refused, of course, but he beat me so badly I didn’t even have the strength to run. I had to watch until I passed out. And the woman—his mistress for four years—mocked me the whole time. She even told him where to hit me. The day I drank bleach, even death didn’t want me.
I told my parents, but to them, every marriage has problems. They say my husband has the right to “discipline” me. Every day, I cry and ask, why me? I feel like I’m reaching the end of my life. I’m unhappy, bitter, skinny… I used to be glowing and full of life when I got married. Now I barely recognize myself.
I cry when I look at my children. After seeing their father beat me so many times, what kind of memories will they grow up with?
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