My Family Wants to Ruin Me
My family is draining me.
People often say that when you’re a middle child, you’re lucky. The older ones will take responsibility, especially since they’re the first ones your parents invest in. They’re supposed to succeed. And if God blesses you too, then you’ll all share the burden of taking care of the younger ones and your parents.
But in my case, I’m the only one who made it. And I can’t breathe.
There are five of us. My older brother is married with four kids and doesn’t work. I provide more for his household than he does. My sister isn’t married, she has one child, and every business she starts fails. Then I have two younger siblings — a girl and a boy — the last born. Both of them are careless with money, lazy, and irresponsible.
And on top of that, my parents built nothing. Not even a small hut.
No matter the event — good or bad — I’m the one who contributes the most. If my parents are sick, it’s me. If we need to support relatives from either side of the family, it’s me. Anything that has to do with money, it’s me.
I paid for two years of Master’s programs for the two youngest. They wasted the money and lied to me the whole time. And I did all that while I was still abroad, working small jobs. Anyone who has lived overseas knows how hard it is to earn money there. And they didn’t even bother to attend classes.
For my sister, I’ve funded three different businesses for her — at least three million in total. For my brother, I handled his paperwork so he could move to the United States. For five years, he had job opportunities. Then he ran into legal trouble and lost his position. He felt certain jobs were beneath him — like washing dishes or moving furniture. And guess what? In five years, he didn’t save a single cent. In the end, he used his last bit of money to move back to Cameroon without even telling me.
Now I’m the one feeding his family, taking care of his kids’ medical bills, and paying their school fees.
I love my parents deeply. They did a lot for me. But let’s be honest — parents should also prepare for their retirement. My father had five children. Others in his generation had more. Yet he bought no land. We didn’t attend prestigious schools. And he was a civil servant back then. No land. No house. No business. Nothing. Not even that hut.
I built my parents’ house myself. My father rented it out. And sometimes he still asks me for money to help pay the rent where he lives. Meanwhile, people call me a failure because I don’t own a house or a car. They don’t see that I’ve deprived myself of those things because I carry everyone’s burdens.
So I decided it’s over. I stopped giving money to my brother and sister. Now I’m the “bad guy.”
They call me ungrateful because I decided to build a house for my wife and children — after everything I’ve done, everything I’ve endured just to have some stability. They say it’s not enough. Recently, my father even told me I still have time to buy land — why am I rushing? I also want to pay my bride price, and he says five million is too much — as if I ever questioned him when he was marrying his own wife. And yet, if I’m still paying rent today after building a house, it’s because of them.
This family still expects me to sacrifice myself.
But I’m tired. If I keep going like this, I’ll end up poor. And they’ll be the first to mock me. Now they say I’m selfish. But for the first time in my life, I’m thinking about myself. About my children. About my own household. Because tomorrow, I might not even have the strength to keep working.
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